Chapter 6 - The Excursion Awakening
The rest of the cruise felt like waking up from a lifelong coma.
For the first time in my adult life, I wasn't managing anyone else's emotions.
I didn't have to navigate Dad's sudden outbursts of temper. I didn't have to soothe Mom's manufactured anxieties. I didn't have to nod and smile while Vanessa complained about how unfair the world was to her.
I was just... Millie.
In Jamaica, I went on a luxury catamaran tour.
I met a group of women from Chicago celebrating a 40th birthday. They were loud, hilarious, and deeply kind. When they found out I was traveling solo, they adopted me for the day.
We drank rum punch, danced on the deck of the boat, and laughed until our ribs ached.
They didn't care what I did for a living. They didn't ask me for a loan. They just liked my company.
It was a revelation.
I am fun, I realized. I am worthy of being around just for being me.
Meanwhile, I occasionally caught glimpses of my family on the ship.
They were trapped.
Without the prepaid excursions, they had to stay on the boat or wander the immediate, crowded port areas.
Without the drink packages, they were forced to drink the free tap water and basic coffee.
Without the premium dining, they were stuck in the endless, chaotic buffet lines for every single meal.
I saw them once by the main pool.
Dad was glaring at a couple sitting in the shaded loungers he wanted. Vanessa was scrolling furiously on her phone, looking miserable. Brandon was nowhere to be seen.
They looked like strangers to me.
For so long, I had believed that I needed them to survive. I believed that if I just gave enough, fixed enough, paid enough, they would magically transform into the loving family I saw on television.
But looking at them now, stripped of my financial padding, I saw them for who they truly were.
Selfish. Small. Miserable.
And completely powerless over me.
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I didn't feel angry anymore. I just felt a profound, overwhelming sense of pity.
I turned away from the pool and headed back up to the penthouse deck. I had a massage booked, and I didn't want to be late.
